Blood on the stairs: Zombie Survival
by ButtonsMagoo
Summary: A thudding comes from the shop door, once that door is opened all hell breaks loose, now Howard and Naboo are trapped, with Vince dead, and patrolling their every move how will they escape...alive? Rated for Violence, and gore. Happy Halloween.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:  **AU. Kinda inspired by the new E4 thriller; Dead Set. Although, not copied - at least I tried not too. This chapter kinda starts in the future and the next will time skip, don't be confused. So enjoy. Oh, yeah. This fic, is for Halloween and will not have any happy endings - sorry. Blood, and violence to ensue, you have been warned.

**Discalimer: **I don't own The Mighty Boosh, or any affiliated characters - I just like to mess around with them, muhahah.

**Chapter one:** Noone would save him from what he was about to become.

 ----

  Heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs, accompanied by a terrified scream, and a deep hissing. Blood pooled on every step as the zombie beast gave chase up the stairs after Vince. 

 "Howard!" He squealed, as he tripped up the stairs and fell onto his hands and knees, tears streaming down his face. Howard was stood with Naboo at the other side of the room, behind a red glowing shield Naboo had erected and was containing with his hands, a red stream billowing from his palms. "Howard, help!" He continued as he sat at the top of the stairs, the creature approaching him fast. 

 "Naboo, we've got to do something!" Howard shouted at Naboo, ignoring Vince's pleas. 

 "What, and risk going out there and dying – if we leave this shield then we'll be practically committing suicide. He's got no hope, and I'll be buggered if I'm going to help him!" Naboo stressed, adjusting his hands to maintain the barrier between them, Vince and the Zombie. Howard gasped. 

 "How can you even say that, he's your friend, why won't you save him?" Howard cried, watching as Vince scuttled up the stairs, backing against the wall on the landing, his screams getting louder, and more pained.

 "Look, I can only save us. I'm sorry but there is nothing we can do." Naboo sighed, watching as the Zombie advanced forwards onto Vince, pinning him against the wall. It leaned forwards and pressed its sharpened teeth into Vince's neck. The scream got louder as the teeth sunk further into his soft white flesh, pulling at it, ripping the skin away and feeding on the blood spilling out and spreading across the wall. Howard dropped to his knees, his head falling into his hands as he listened to the beat devouring his best friend, Naboo sighed, and dropped the barrier, advancing forwards and taking the lampshade off the coffee table, and smashing it over the top of the offending zombies head, allowing the terracotta pot to pierce the soft, dead, flesh re-killing the zombie and allowing it to drop to the floor. He dropped the rest of the lighting fitment and turned on his heel, looking down at Vince, shaking against the wall.

"Sure… help me… now…" Vince croaked, blood pooling in the corners of his mouth, and spurting from the open wound in his neck, Naboo bowed his head, allowing a single tear to slide down his face. 'I should've helped sooner' he thought as he heard Vince thud to the floor, his head tilted against the box of Halloween decorations. Howard screaming from behind him, Naboo turned and smiled sadly.

 "I'm so, so, sorry Howard." 

 "Sorry! Sorry!?! Sorry isn't going to bring him back Naboo, is it?" Howard cried, standing up and walking forward, reeling as he saw the blood spread across the carpet. He grabbed Naboo by his robes and lifted him up, bringing him up to his eye level, Naboo squirmed.

 "Well, technically he is going to come back…" Naboo spluttered, as the robes dug into his neck. Howard dropped him, giving him a look of pure confusion.

 "What… what do you mean?" Howard asked, looking edgy, occasionally glancing towards the dead body in the corner of the room. 

 "Well, he was attacked by a Zombie, which means – " Naboo started, disrupted by movement coming from the other side of the room, Vince was sat up, his eyes pure black, his flesh blue, blood covering most of his features, and his clothes ripped from the vicious attack previous. Naboo and Howard watched, mesmerized as Vince crawled towards the carnage on the floor of his attacker, bending forwards and feeding on it's cold, dead and rotting flesh. Howard retched, his vision became blurry as he felt near to passing out, Naboo held his arm out for Howard too hold, in an attempt to keep his balance.

"What should we do?" Naboo whispered, his face growing paler. Howard didn't reply, he just stood and watched; Vince looked up and stared at Naboo and Howard, his dark black eyes penetrating Howard, making him drop to the floor in fear. Vince cocked his head sideways and licked his lips, before diving forwards and pinning Naboo to the floor, hissing. Howard shrieked, as Naboo thrashed underneath the Zombie. His short arms, batting him away in an attempt to throw him off him, Howard panicked. He remembered the moments previous and thought about how Naboo did nothing in an attempt to save Vince, now mutilated and craving flesh. He searched around, and grabbed an umbrella from the top of the stairs, raising it above his head and plunging it downwards, smashing Vince in the back. The Zombie retreated and sat brooding at the foot of the stairs, watching and waiting for the offending weapon to be dropped, and planning his next attack. He watched, patrolling the other flat occupants every move.

**I'm terribly sorry, but hey; I'm eeevil.  
****Feedback is appreciated :)  
xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:  **AU. Kinda inspired by the new E4 thriller; Dead Set. Although, not copied - at least I tried not too. I lied, it's not going to time skip – yet, sorry lol. Again, NO happy ending, so if this isn't what you're looking for then press back, violence, and swearing in this chapter and ofcourse gore. Thanks for the response so far! Much loved.

**Discalimer: **I don't own The Mighty Boosh, or any affiliated characters - I just like to mess around with them, muhahah.

**Chapter two:**  Cried erupted from the bathroom

--

Vince sat watching their every, small move, his teeth bared to maximum capacity as the blood and guts hung from his mouth and his dark piecing eyes just watched. His head tilted curiously to one side, his breath deep and rasping. Howard played with the hem of his trousers, avoiding any eye-contact with the creature as possible, Naboo coughed, alerting Howard to his presence, after he'd forgotten and had sunk into his own world.

"Why isn't he attacking Naboo?" Howard whispered, looking up teary eyed at the small shaman sat next to him.

"I don't know, I really don't I mean, if he's a Zombie then surely he'd…. I don't know Howard." Naboo sighed, looking across the room, and locking eyes with Vince, who twitched at the sudden recognition and hissed.

"Can you not call him a Zombie, for fucksake Naboo, have some respect!" Howard cried, as he pounded the ground with a blood smothered fist. He shuddered; 'was this Vince's blood?' he thought quietly to himself and he watched the red liquid dry on his shaking white hand.  The clock on the wall ticked each second echoing through the air as the tension in the room grew, the ticking accompanied by the growling made Howard physically sick.

"Naboo, why on earth did you stop the attack when it was too fucking late? You could've intervened sooner, so why the fuck didn't you!" Howard hissed, his eyebrows knitting together and furrowing, Naboo sighed; he shrugged his shoulders and stood up. Vince's head jolted up and fixed on the now standing shaman, he began to crawl forwards before standing upright, mirroring the Shaman. Naboo gasped, and edged sideways before breaking out into a run for the bathroom, Vince followed, jumping over obstacles in the room, charging forwards after Naboo.

"Ah fuck!" He cried as Howard watched, his mouth open to great proportions, Vince dived into the bathroom after Naboo, a crash erupted from the room, followed by the soft click of the door locking, Howard ran forward and stood outside the door, bowing his head as he heard the greedy, and bloodthirsty grunts from inside the room, the screams from the tiny shaman and finally the sickening crunch of bones breaking, the lock clicked again and the handle to the door started to descended downwards, Howard dived forwards and pressed his body to the door in an attempt to keep the carnage locked up, but was taken aback by a violent and vigorous pounding on the door, and the awful, strangled cries. He dived backwards and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the en-suite room to open up. Howard gasped, as blood seeped from under the door, and the pounding stopped. Vince slouched out the door, an arm clamped between his teeth and a bloody bundle in his hand. Howard looked down, and felt the bile rise in his throat as he saw the decapitated remains of the shaman hanging by his hair. He dropped the head and again fell to the ground, crawling momentarily into the bathroom and pulling out the shaman's remains, settling down and ripping at what was left of Naboo, devouring his innards, feasting on his flesh, and crunching through his bones. He snarled as he'd eaten what he wanted, and turned slowly staring at Howard.

"Please, Vince. Can you hear me?" Howard spoke, dropping from the bed and kneeling, addressing Vince at his eye level. The zombie grunted and pulled his hands back into the bloody remains on the floor, teasing the intestines round his fingers and thrusting then into his mouth, until eventually slouching off back into the living quarters and sitting back on the top of the stairs. Howard whimpered and looked at the blood on the floor, before running his fingers along it, and eventually coating his hands in the red stuff, he crawled into the bathroom, and looked in the mirror, smearing the crimson stuff across his face, in his attempt to stay alive.

"If I want to live, then I have to look as though I'm already dead." He thought, as he fought the urge to throw up. "But why hasn't he gone for me already?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **AU. Kinda inspired by the new E4 thriller; Dead Set. Although, not copied - at least I tried not too. Bollo introduced now, seeing as you were all curious as to whether he was around or not, so he's here.

Again, NO happy ending, so if this isn't what you're looking for then press back, violence, and swearing in this chapter and of course gore. Thanks for the response so far! Much loved.

**Discalimer: **I don't own The Mighty Boosh, or any affiliated characters - I just like to mess around with them, muhahah.

**Chapter three:** Thumping cried from the top of the stairs.

Thumping cried out from the top of the stairs as the restless beast pounded the wooden flooring beneath the carpet. Howard stood at the mirror sighing 'He can't be hungry again can he?' he thought quietly to himself, before edging towards the door and opening it cautiously, he took one step out into the bedroom and made a run for the kitchen, slamming the glass windowed door behind him, and flicking the lock on the handle, momentarily wondering how long that lock had been there for, or why it was in fact even there, but again thanking the randomly placed lock with a sigh of relief. He turned into the kitchen and ran the kitchen tap, taking down a saucepan from the cupboard and filling the steel container with water and sticking it on the boil as a precaution for anymore zombie attacks. A soft grunting came from the corner of the room, as Howard looked up tensing, noticing the broken kitchen window, blood running down the white frames and across the kitchen tiles, he froze.

"Shit." He whispered, turning slowly on his heel, and breathing in deeply.

"Harold?"

"Bollo!" Howard shouted, his tense shoulders drooping as he ran towards the bleeding Gorilla. "Oh, Bollo are you ok?" Howard asked, placing a hand on the blood clotted fur.

"Bollo got cut on glass, not zombie bite. Bollo not get through front door so I break the window in. Bollo needs to warn precious Vince about zombie people, Bollo not want him to get bitten." Bolo wheezed, standing up and walking towards the kitchen door, he stopped dead and looked out the window in the door.

"Bollo, you're too late." Howard sighed, walking up to the Gorilla and placing a comforting arm around his large primate shoulders. Bollo shook underneath his arms and began to cry.

"That is not my Vince out there is it? Harold, please tell Bollo it's not true."

"I'm sorry Bollo, Vince… he's dead, that's not him out there, he got attacked and he attacked Naboo too, Naboo's dead. I'm sorry Bollo." Howard spoke quietly, Bollo brushed his arm off and peered out the glass, pressing his face right up to the cold sheet and banging softly on the door. Vince heard this and cocked his head up, standing up and charging forwards smashing into the door growling. He pounded on the doors, head butting the glass and growling at Bollo who was stood on the other side, tears pouring down his face.

"Bollo scared." He whimpered, and his large hands fumbled around with the lock on the kitchen door, allowing it to click.

"Bollo, don't go out there." Howard urged, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him back. Bollo ignored him and pulled away, opening the door and allowing Vince to launch himself into the room, knocking Bollo off his feet and slamming him to the ground, Vince went straight for his stomach, biting into it and pulling his intestines out with it, blood pooled all over the floor and spread over the black and white tiles, staining them crimson. He stopped his savage attack and sat back, slurping the long organ up like spaghetti, watching Howard with confusion.


End file.
